Self Censorship is Empathy, and that’s Not a Bad Thing

While the example this author uses is a weak one, in my opinion — I think the co-worker needed to hear that her husband has a problem, and needs support to help work through that — I do think he has a great point.

Free Speech does not mean we should say any hurtful thing we want to the detriment of others. Its not a free pass to hurl expletives, racist slurs, or misogynistic diatribes about how typically you, a white and privileged male, have it so tough. Boo hoo. You don’t know how good you have it.

Watching your words and how they might affect people around you is a pro-social exercise that should be encouraged in every facet of modern life. […] Society can’t function without constant self censorship. Restraint is key to a society that works.

Hard agree. Allow me to get all “things used to be a certain way” on us all. In the movie Bambi, an animated kid’s movie by Disney released in 1942, one of Bambi’s best friends is a rabbit named Thumper. His mom always reminds him that “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

That’s an example of a Golden Rule that modern society no longer finds value in. Instead, due to lots of things but largely due to social media convincing us that everyone has an opinion that deserves to be heard (spoiler, you have a right to express opinions, but not to force anyone to hear it), we have the opposite Golden Rule — you can’t tell me to shut up no matter how hurtful my speech is.

Because guess what else? Being a toxic asshole starts to make the person being a toxic asshole feel like an asshole. Huh, imagine that. We are what we eat and we feel what we say.